"Me! Me! Me!"

Myself along with a couple of friends are planning a Girlfriend Getaway for about 30 ladies this fall. How did we come up with the title? I tend to call the ladies in my life "girlfriend" as a term of endearment so I suppose that's where it came from. The task is fun, we laugh as much as we plan and I'm so looking forward to the moment we all sequester ourselves away at a campground with food, fun and fellowship.


I have just finished reading Victor Hugo's "Les Miserables". One of my favorite parts was when Jean Valjean discovered Collette and Marius had fallen in love. This man who had done nothing but care for, and love this child now realized he was no longer the most important person in her life. The book says, roughly, that his soul howled, "Me! Me! Me!" and suddenly selfishness was born where only selflessness had been. I tell you this because I had the same experience as Jean Valjean.

Upon arriving at church a couple of Sundays ago, I was told my friend, Carol, was at the hospital with what was apparently a stroke. As soon as this shock sunk in, my soul, as did Jean Valjean's, howled, "Me! Me! Me!" How could my friend possibly be in danger of leaving me! I need her! As it turned out, my friend had a mild TIA due to out of control blood pressure and is now on the mend, thank God! (Take your meds, Carol!)

Anyway, girlfriends (very few men read my blog), I do need you, and I hope you need me also. Yes, I am selfish about my friends, I want you around FOREVER!

Ouch!

I have been reading Lisa See's book, Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. I found myself intrigued with the Chinese custom of foot binding. How odd that women would go through so much for what they considered to be beautiful and what I would consider to be grotesque (I Googled food binding and saw the pictures...UGH!). What is it that makes people see beauty so differently? Some cultures see chubby women as beautiful (I was born in the wrong culture) while another thinks bone thin is the most attractive. And what about piercings? Tongue, lip, eye, belly buttons and other places I hesitate to mention are not exempt from torture. I even have six extra holes in my head, three in each ear! Why wasn't one or even two enough?

I don't know about you, but I'm thankful that I get to make the decision of when and how to change the looks of my physical appearance, whether it be changing my hair color, adding another earring or just buying a new shade of lipstick. All these things make us interesting people, don't you think?

PS It's weird, but my feet are suddenly killing me!!!

Back On Track

After skipping my weight loss classes for two months this summer, I discovered upon return that I had gain five pounds! So, back to measuring, counting points, planning ahead, and all those good for me habits that I let lapse while "vacationing". Last night I brought home pizza for dinner. I just had a good weight loss, I was feeling confident, I knew I could eat one piece, a few veggies and a diet drink and stay within my daily allotted points.... WRONG! One bite of that deliciously greasy, cheesy, crusty delicacy sent me down the road of points overload!

Last Saturday at my weight loss class one of the "big losers", who was now skinny and svelte, asked the director, "Now that I am at my goal weight, how do I get rid of the desire to binge eat?" The director ask the class if anyone had a comment for her and 25 women (and one man) ducked behind the person ahead of them. Even the director had no advice for this woman. I immediately thought of the Apostle Paul who wrote: I have discovered this principle of life--that when I want to do what is right (eat veggies), I inevitably do what is wrong (eat half a pizza)... Oh what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin (overeating) and death (fat)?" Paul basically asked the same question as the woman at my weight loss class...Paul must have struggled with pizza too! But the difference is, Paul realized the desire will always be there. The trick is finding a way to overcome the desire, and he did find the answer: Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.

If we take the time to read chapters seven and eight of Romans, we find the Solution for more than just our desire to overeat. This principle that Paul teaches us (and first had to learn himself!) will make a difference in how we overcome what we don't want to be and to become what we do want to be.

Well, I'm back on track today. I know I am because I'm starving! I will joyfully eat my five point microwave lunch and be thankful that I didn't even touch the doughnuts sitting by the coffee pot! Thanks be to God...and fellow "over eater", the Apostle Paul.

...Fire Weed And ALL

Fireweed is an interesting thing. It is the summer season barometer for Alaska. When it first blooms in July we know summer is half over and we pretend not to see the blooms amongst the daises and other wild flowers. When the blooms turn to seed pods we know fall is only moments away, and when the pods are blown into cottony seeds, summer is only a memory and winter is creeping in from the north.

On my daily walks I tend to keep an eye on the fireweed, trying to gauge how much longer I have to do all the things I planned to do this summer and never got finished...or started. Often I think of all my life plans that I have put on hold or dropped and never picked up again. The result of these musings is usually panic, but this year I am feeling differently about it all. I hardly noticed the fireweed in its season telling phases. Instead I have enjoyed my ramblings and talks with my sister, Masha. At first I didn't know what it was I was feeling instead of the usual panic, and then I realized what it was: contentment! Why this year? Maybe it's because I'm finally past that age of competing with life, maybe because I'm less driven and more relaxed, maybe it's because I'm to become a grandmother this winter and I'm looking forward to that event. Whatever the reason, I'm basking in it!

Paul tells the Philippians, "Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned to be content" (Philippians 4:11 NLT). I have never been in need, but often in "want" of many things and anxious about them. I remember being discontent, but when did I learn the lesson of contentment? At what moment did the lesson sink in? I would guess it was a slow growing process that I may face again, but in any case, I am glad it did finally sink in. Life is good...fireweed and all!

Lest I Forget...

My husband picked up a video camera at a friend's garage sale the other day. We now can watch all those home movie videos which he wore out the old camera taking. The lion's share of the video time is devoted to Christmas and Birthday celebrations that have somehow faded from my memory. Imagine my surprise to see a much younger me, eight and one half months pregnant wearing a beard (a dish cloth tied around my face bandit style), carrying a black bag full of toys over my shoulder calling ho, ho, ho's to a crowd of over excited children. Did I really do that? I plead temporary hormonal insanity! What a wonderful reminder it is to me that all those years of parenting were not only laundry, dishes, cooking, and worry, but surprises, singing, silliness and carefree moments. Needless to say, I dreamed about my "babies" last night and woke with the sweet feeling of having been loved.

Something else I noticed in those videos was I called my husband, Tom, "honey" several times. It's been a really long time since I used this endearment in reference to him. Not only do our memories fade, so does evidently, our affection. Do I still love him? Of course! But where is that comfortable affection that used to flow so easily between us? What do I need to do to change that situation? Maybe I'll just try calling him "h-h-honey" tonight. Yikes! It used to be so easy!

We still have several of those video cassettes to work our way through over the next few weeks. More Christmases, Birthdays and sorrow tinted family reunions centered around the loss of a child, my mother, my father and my brother. But these bittersweet memories deserve a place in the family archives as well and help me remember those I really never want to forget.

I Did My Stint...And Loved It!

It's funny how as I get older the more my desire to take care of small children in the church nursery wanes. I tend to avoid the nursery at all costs, as long as I don't look to undignified in the attempt. Due to poor planning on my part last Sunday evening, we had lovely little girls that needed a nursery attendant and guess who got drafted...you guessed it!

Sunday evening I ate a forty-four course meal of plastic food (no calories), drank countless cups of "air juice" and had my favorite desert six times! Not only was I served these marvelous foods, I was entertained by a princess dancing in a "Little House on the Prarie" bonnet, a pink cape with faux fur and black gloves. I had a story read to me by an amazinging smart reader who informed me her reading level was third-grade and I belive it! She actually read the words sea anemone without hesitation! I still can't believe it!

Maybe next time the nursery worker schedule looks a little low on volunteers, I'll raise my hand.