It’s been almost 72 hours and I still can’t think of it without tears stinging my eyes. Hours of TV watching, carting a bag to car, restaurants and church sanctuaries; ending with a late night marathon all coming to waste. We will not even mention the hours of day dreaming and envisioning the future. But, alas, it was all ruined in a matter of minutes. No matter that the blanket was almost dry to begin with, the dryer was set on the lowest, gentlest setting possible, or that I whispered a prayer of protection for its mix of wool and bamboo fibers. The lovely Beach Glass green blanket, knit with the loving care of an expectant grandmother is now just a felted bath mat.
I would love to blame the yarn, but I knew not choosing an acrylic medium would be tricky, and I also knew that the fibers were prone to felting, but I had run the little sweater and bonnet through a brief cycle and the result was favorable. I should have known better…. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER… What was I thinking? At 2:00 a.m. I was not thinking. The list of I should haves include: allowing myself a late finish date, going to bed at 4:00 instead of 2:00, skip knitting the cute beaded headband two weeks ago… ARGH! After running that gamut my next rant was directed at God. “Why didn’t you stop me? Yes, I realize that I was created with common sense, but surly a Higher Power intervention could have been arranged!” By the time I was ready to leave for the baby shower with half a gift, I had run the full circle and was reverting back to, “I have no one to blame but myself. “
So many things go through your mind when you realize what is done cannot be undone: If I had just waited two minutes before sipping that hot tea, if I had just checked my rear view mirror one more time, if I had just listened to my head instead of my heart. After going through all the “should haves” we begin to concentrate on the “what’s to be done” phase. Tom’s suggestion was to make the “blanket” into a sleeping bag. In my agony I responded with, “I’d rather throw it away.” and gave him a scathing glare. Trying to make something useful out of our “should haves” is a painful experience. It mocks you (I still can’t look at the matted object lying on my dryer).
Saturday night I sat in front of my TV with a movie in the player. My hands felt empty, but I couldn’t bring myself to pick up an unfinished knitting project. I was still in mourning. By Sunday evening, I looked up that sock I had started a couple of months ago, fingered the predictable wool-acrylic blend and sat down to try a couple of rounds. Yep, I still had it. I was still missing the warmth of the baby blanket on my legs and the weight of three feet of knitting on needles, but I found I could still enjoy the process.
I will forgive myself, eventually, for taking a short cut that cost hours of knitting time, and I will eventually laugh at this episode of knitting gone wrong, but in the meantime I will put off doing laundry until I can manage to pick up the remnant of my pride and move the felted mess of a blanket off the dryer, and put it aside.
