College Life

The year of 2014 brought me to a new place in my life. I took a stand, became determined to the point of anger, and stepped into the world of college student. The feeling of thrill and fear that sets your heart racing and your spirits soaring must be the same feeling a mountain climber experiences when he summits a peak. That comparison may be a little dramatic, but I have had to overcome a few hurdles, or should I say, climb a few slopes to get to that point. The process of finding documents was quite intimidating. Birth certificates, college transcripts, high school transcripts, marriage certificates, certificate of Indian blood, who knew? That was just for the application of a grant! The college registration took several visits to a guidance counsellor, testing, touring the campus, figuring out the bookstore and so much more. As each rise became a mile marker behind me, I came closer to the day.

My first day of school was a cold, snowy day in January. I was armed with text books, notebooks and shiny new computer. As I walked through the shifting snow, trying to concentrate on putting my feet where it was safe, I almost missed that moment. The one that makes you come to a standstill, hold your breath, tear up and then grin like an idiot! At last I was crossing the university campus with all the rights and privileges of a student! My dream was coming true.

I do realize that the dream, at times, becomes a little vague, clouded and even disappointing, but I can honestly say there was never a time, during those semesters, that I didn’t want to go, didn’t anticipate, didn’t celebrate going to class. Crossing the parking lot of ice was monumental for spring of 2014, but I braved it and God in His mercy saw fit to keep me upright. Yes, I was the oldest student in all four of my classes, but age has been an advantage in interpreting poetry, finding a thoughtful perspective,  and writing a solid research paper. Most of my efforts were successful, but I had a few times when my eyes wouldn’t stay open over ancient texts and my quiz scores were not “awesome.” At those times, I was grateful to mentor, Jolene, and she would tell me, “It’s just one grade out of many, mom. You are doing great!” The dream has survived the first go around.

The next semester begins in a few days and I am more confident in parking, finding my classes and locating the coffee shop. I still, however, feel the anxiety of being out of my depth, wondering if my creativity will hold, and feeling the age difference between me, my student peers and even my professors, but I am reveling in the sheer joy of learning.

Thank you to those who have helped make this a possibility: My husband, my children (especially my scholar/mentor, Jolene), my pastor, my boss and work associates. They have taken up the slack at home, at church and at work. May God bless you for your generosity. And lest I forget "GO SEAWOLVES!"

Memory Lane: Wisconsin and Wyoming

I have been an in-law for 34 years today. However, I'm so far away from my in-laws that I don't get much experience in that department. This summer, this month in fact, I had the opportunity to have time with the in-laws. Tom's Aunt Ruth had her 100th Birthday on June 12th, and what better reason is there to visit the "old folks at home?"

Tom was able to reconnect with siblings, aunts, uncles and a whole host of cousins. As for me, I tried to stand back and just watch the reunion unfold.

I heard old family stories told in different versions, much like the gospels, all truth just from different perspectives, and I saw my husband in a whole different role of brother, cousin and beloved nephew. I liked him in that role; he was funny, attentive and definitely more sociable then I have seen him in a long time! I found myself wishing I had known him "way back when."

Many of the stories and memories were centered around life on the farms. Corn fields, gardens, and houses all soaked in childhood memories as well as those of young parents of large (and I do mean large) families, raising kids and corn together.

Even though I grew up hundreds of miles away, I found myself feeling connected to these old buildings, tree swings and memories.

Journal Entry: June 14, 2014

"I can understand why people feel as if they lived a different life or time. The old barn, the fields and country roads stir a longing in my soul to "return."

Somewhere in my unconscious memory is a little girl curled up with a book and a barn kitten in the hay mow (pronounced mow as in cow for those of us non-farmers). Or was that something I read in a book as a wishful child while lying under a tree in the suburbs of Casper, Wyoming? 

Either way, the "memory" is as warm and familiar as an old friend.

On this same trip I had the opportunity to return to my own childhood roots as well.

 I visited the cemetery where my mother's parents are buried.

And visited the house where I spent a portion of my childhood years. I took a chance of sneaking around the corners of the house like a ghost, reliving memories of building sandcastles in the alley, and thrilling to thunder storms from the safety of the screened-in porch. (Bob, do you remember running out and catching hail to make "tapioca pudding" in tin cans on the old gas stove in the living room?  How could I have forgotten? I will remember for the both of us).

How can I not mention the joy of hearing the song of a meadowlark, smelling the goldenrod, and the distant smell of a skunk? All things I had longed to experience one more time (it was too early for crickets, but the oriels made up for the lack; thanks, Linda.).

All in all, a lovely trip down memory lane: The Farmlands of Wisconsin, The Wheat Fields of Wyoming.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

What if spring never arrives? Suppose every morning from now on was 5 F and the sun had no warmth for the rest of our days. What if the fruit trees never bloomed in May and the pumpkins never grew round and fat for October harvest? What if I never again felt the lazy warmth of the afternoon sun on my shoulders while I watched my grandchildren play on green grass?

"Yet I will exalt in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation." He will make me strong and I will climb to the high places, even when they are dark and frozen.

This was a journal entry from February. The coldest part of the year, when hope for spring sometimes wanes. But, here it is spring, and I will rejoice in the God of my salvation!